Shock and denial.

 The words have been said, but they still have no sense to you. Well, actually, they do have some sense, but they sound as decoration, something not quite what they are. They float above your head, but they don't get inside. They sound too untrue. The words are empty, and so is your mind, wondering about anything other not to think about what''s happening.

Your body, though, works as fine as ever. Except for the lack of sleep. The evening lurks up to you and reminds you of how alone you are now. During the day, it's easy to avoid contact with the truth. But it is in the evening that it gets you. Then your body aches, the flow of energy through your nerves coming from - guess where - your brain that got shrouded by the facts. It's over. Your feelings swamp you out in tears of sorrow, anger and, definitely - sadness.

The world now is seen through shades of grey. Flowers, birds and your team's jersey are as dull as the asphalt because you can only see what's inside of yourself. It's hard to find meaning in anything. You still bring food inside, but it is invariably tasteless. You still drink a cold one at the end of the day, but i fells as bland as water. Your life rolls out before you as if a film in the theater. You are merely an expectator, watching the events happen without having any way of interacting. You are numb, but it still hurts.

Your only hope is just that: to hope.